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Big boys don’t cry

Well, they can say it's something to do with, you know, emotions, crying releases your stress. Men are more stressed than women perhaps. So I… it's less and less nowadays I think.
Jun 30,2015
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Jackie: One of the summer films that has come out is called “Toy Story 3” and um… one of the big things about the film is that it's meant to make men cry [laughs]. Erm… we've both seen “Toy Story 1” Richard, that wasn't very tearful but apparently “Toy Story 3”... is um… yeah, meant to make men cry. Now, if it was a film that is meant to make women cry, it would be no big deal…

 

Richard: Right, yes.

 

Jackie: …but because it make… it’s meant to make men cry, it's a big deal because men don't cry. And certainly not in public. What's all that about?

 

Richard: Erm... I don't know, I think it's tradition, isn't it? Men are supposed to be hard and solid and not supposed to break up and cry.

 

Jackie: It's a sign of weakness.

 

Richard: Erm… maybe it can be but it’s not… also it can turn the other way around. Because often there are situations where you see men cry on telly and it's… and it’s um… also react in another way… prove their manhood or something. Not manhood necessarily but show that they’re very human.

 

JackieBut culturally men are conditioned not to cry in public, aren't they?

Richard: Yes. I think so.

Jackie: I mean in our… in our culture.

Richard: Society and culture, yes.

JackieMmm. Do you remember when you were growing up being told not to cry?

 

Richard: Yes. “Don't be such a girl”. [both laugh]

Jackie: So it was seen as a negative thing.

Richard: Yes. Um… weakness… a weakness for men to cry. They’re supposed to be strong and solid and not, as I say, not break down.

 

JackieMmm. It's interesting, there was…

 

Richard: Oh sorry, that’s the other thing is and yes, solid, not show their emotions because women are supposed to be emotional and men not so emotional.

 

Jackie: Hmm, but I think that’s a… that's a bad thing for men… if men are not emotional.

 

Richard: Well, they can say it's something to do with, you know, emotions, crying releases your stress. Men are more stressed than women perhaps. So I… it's less and less nowadays I think.

 

Jackie: It's interesting, there was some research done by the British Psychological Society and they asked a group of men and women when they last cried, ok? And um… nearly all of the men… what do you think they said was the situation that made them cry the most, the last time they cried?

 

Richard: I've got no idea.

 

Jackie: It was to do with sport!

 

Richard: Yes, well. Funny you should mention that. As soon as you mentioned crying, the last time I think I remember [crying] was when Liverpool won the European cup!

 

JackieExactly!

 

Richard: So it was er... tears of joy I suppose, you know, that’s the thing. You're so happy, people cry then, maybe men cry in those situations rather than sad situations.

 

Jackie: Well, maybe it's the… it’s the idea that men are not expected to cry in public, they’re meant to be um… you know, in control. But sport...

 

Richard: Stoic is the word.

 

Jackie: Stoic, yes. But maybe sport allows them that release because that's important.

 

Richard: Yes. And it's very emotional then. Men do get very emotional and heated about sport and that's when your emotions come out er… like crying.

 

JackieMmm

 

Richard: Well, Jackie, I remember years and years and years ago um… the first movie that made me cry was “Born Free” [both laugh].

Jackie: Now that's a film, for people who don't know, a film about lions.

Richard: Yes. And I don't know how old I was, I must’ve been, I don’t know, ten or eleven, so um… thirty years later I wonder whether “Toy Story 3” will have the same effect! We'll find out.


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